← An unknown actor, the audience's reaction began to show.# Screen Test
The fluorescent light in the audition waiting room cast a pale glow across Junho's face. The calendar on the wall indicated April 2024. It was his sixteenth rejection.
"Next, Lee Junho."
Junho jumped to his feet. The chair leg scraped against the floor. The six other young actors remaining in the waiting room turned to look at him, then quickly returned their attention to their screens. Junho knew what he saw in their eyes. Not interest in a competitor, but pity for someone already eliminated.
As he entered the recording studio, three judges sat behind a desk. On the left was the casting director, in the center the drama PD, on the right the production company representative. Junho didn't miss the change in their expressions as he entered. Indifference. A momentary indifference that flickered across their faces.
"Hello. I'm Lee Junho."
Junho straightened his collar. A navy shirt. A neat choice, but not too striking. It was a strategy born from ten years of experience.
"Yes, understood." The PD held up the script. "You're playing the father. It's the scene where he receives news that his daughter has run away. From the first paragraph on page three through the fifth."
Junho took the script and read it. It was a simple scene. A father reporting to the police. A passage that required showing mixed emotions of anger, despair, and anxiety. A cliché from standard family dramas.
He took a deep breath.
"I'll begin."
**"You're saying you can't find our daughter?"**
His voice trembled. In the end, it was a good choice. The actor playing the police officer responded naturally to Junho's despair. The emotional delivery was instantaneous. A small performance completed in thirty seconds.
The judges remained expressionless.
"Thank you."
Junho bowed and opened the door without waiting for them to look at him again. He turned on his phone as he left the audition venue. 09:47. His next audition was at 11. Thirty minutes from Gangnam Station to Yeouido. Enough time.
Standing with his hand on the subway rail, Junho's fingers tapped the search bar. 'Lee Junho actor'. Searching his own name had become routine.
The works he'd appeared in over the past five years came up. The search results were a harsh report on himself.
— *Drama 〈That Spring Day's Promise〉 Mister role (2 episodes)*
— *Film 〈Season of Parting〉 Taxi driver role (3 minutes)*
— *Drama 〈Night of the City〉 Colleague doctor role (1 episode)*
Supporting roles. Bit parts. Roles barely distinguishable from extras. Most of his credits didn't even appear in the end credits. Many works weren't even listed on IMDb.
Junho lowered his phone. The subway arrived at Yeouido Station.
---
"Did you get rejected again?"
Han Jieun was drinking an Americano at a café. She was Junho's manager and his only supporter. She knew the moment he walked in. Perhaps it was his expression, perhaps his gait.
"Yeah."
Junho sat down in a chair. He drank his Americano. It was cold.
Han Jieun sighed. "How many times?"
"Sixteen."
"This month?"
"Yeah."
Han Jieun looked at his face carefully. Even in the well-lit café, Junho's skin looked dull. Dark circles had settled darkly beneath his eyes. He looked more like a man in his early forties than mid-thirties.
"Do you really have to keep doing this for ten years?" Han Jieun's voice was quiet.
Junho didn't answer. Instead, he picked up his coffee cup.
"I'm serious, Junho. Let's find you another job. You're handsome enough, you have a good voice, and if you just got one more role in a famous drama or film... no wait, you're already getting roles but nobody watches them. Does this make sense?"
"I have a contract."
"A contract?" Han Jieun laughed. "What we have isn't a contract or even trust—it's just cooperation. The real contract is between you and the agency, and they don't care about you. You're not famous, you have no fans, you make no money. You're just... someone who could disappear and nobody would notice."
Junho looked at Han Jieun. She was sincere. She always was. Han Jieun was the manager he'd hired five years ago. Even then, he was already unknown, and she worked for him without even getting proper advertising fees.
"Just one more time."
"One more what?"
"A chance."
Han Jieun rested her forearms on the table. "You've waited ten years. Isn't that enough?"
"Not yet."
"Not yet what?"
Junho didn't answer. Instead, he looked out the window. The spring day in Yeouido flowed indifferently. People on the street moved toward their goals. They didn't see Junho. There was no reason to.
"Three months."
Han Jieun looked at him.
"Just three more months. If nothing changes in that time... I'm letting go."
Han Jieun bit her lip. "What are you doing, really? What are you hoping for?"
"I don't know."
It wasn't a lie. Junho truly didn't know. What he wanted. Did he love acting? Or was he simply unable to turn back because he'd already spent ten years?
"Do you have depression? Seriously."
"No."
"Then what's the problem?"
Junho drank his coffee. The cold liquid went down his throat. A bitter taste remained on his tongue.
"I wish there was no problem."
Han Jieun looked at his face for a long time. Then slowly she leaned back in her chair.
"There's a low-budget drama shoot later. It's a small role, but there's a base fee. You going?"
"I'll go."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Han Jieun took out her phone. "Shooting is at 2 PM, so get to the studio by 1 PM. The makeup team is waiting. This time you're playing the father."
Another father role. Over ten years, he'd played many fathers. Fathers, older brothers, seniors, colleagues, doctors, police officers, taxi drivers. None of them had remembered him.
"Got it."
Han Jieun placed her hand over his on the table. "Is it really three months?"
"Yeah."
"Promise?"
Junho looked into her eyes. Han Jieun's gaze was sincere. And that was the most painful part. That someone believed in him. With no basis whatsoever.
"Promise."
Han Jieun withdrew her hand. "So where are you going?"
"I have time until 1 PM. I'll go to the Han River for a bit."
"Alone?"
"Yeah."
Han Jieun said nothing more. She knew Junho's nature. Once he decided something, he didn't change it. Or rather, he didn't bend. It was both his strength and his weakness.
---
The Han River embankment. The wind of spring near 1 PM brushed against Junho's face. The cherry blossoms had already fallen, and the new shoots of the willow trees decorated the riverbank in pale green.
Junho sat on a bench. Next to him were mothers with children. In the distance, joggers were visible. Everyone was living their own lives.
He picked up his phone. He went to a portal site. He searched for acting-related news.
— *Newcomer actress Park Sujin confirmed for musical lead role*
— *Top star Kim Hyewon confirmed for new film... "It will be the best work of my life"*
— *Competition among acting prodigies, 10 actors to watch in 2024*
Junho wasn't on that list. Of course not.
Junho lowered his phone. He watched the Han River flow. The water continued to flow. Never stagnant, never stopping. That was the nature of water. Junho had been stagnant for ten years. In the same place, repeating the same roles.
His phone rang. It was Han Jieun.
"What?"
"Aren't you getting ready for the shoot? Come to the studio now."
"There's still time..."
"You need to come now. The situation just changed. One of the actors can't make it. They might give you a bigger role."
Junho stood up from the bench. A bigger role. Those words struck his chest.
"I'm coming now."
Junho left the Han River. Willow leaves brushed past him, and the smell of earth filled the air. It was spring. The same unchanging spring. Like every season, like Junho's ten years.
But this time might have been different. On the subway heading to the studio, he felt an inexplicable premonition. He didn't know what it was, but something seemed to be stirring, trying to rise.
It wasn't hope. Junho had given up on hope long ago. It was just some impulse he didn't understand. A command to keep moving forward. A signal not to stop.
Junho headed toward the studio. It was all he could do.
The studio basement waiting room was filled with young actors.
When Junho arrived, six rookies were already holding scripts. All in their mid-to-late twenties. Their skin gleamed, their eyes sharp. Junho was not unfamiliar with this scene. It was something he'd repeated for ten years. A space where rookie actors seemed better than him.
"Junho, over here."
Ji-eun Han raised her hand. She was holding two americanos from a nearby café. As Junho approached, she handed him one.
"What's the situation?"
"The actor's name is Su-jin Park. She's a rookie, but she injured her knee during drama filming yesterday. She needs surgery. So she can't do this scene."
Junho nodded. What role would he be taking? That was what mattered. A supporting role, or the 'bigger role' that Ji-eun had mentioned?
"So what am I doing?"
"The director hasn't decided yet. He's choosing one out of four. You and the other rookies."
Junho's eyes swept across the waiting room again. Those rookies were already memorizing their scripts. One checked his expressions in a mirror. Another repeated mouth movements. They had prepared faces. Unlike Junho, who was unprepared.
"I'll give you the script."
Ji-eun slid a tablet across with her hand. Junho turned on the screen and began reading the script. Seven pages. That much meant a supporting role. The role of the female lead's younger brother. A scene where he considers suicide but changes his mind after his sister's persuasion.
It was an emotional scene. The type Junho hated most.
"How much time is left?"
"Thirty minutes."
Thirty minutes. Junho read the script again. Once, twice, three times. The sentences entered his eyes, but not his heart. They were just letters. Someone else's emotions, not an actor's.
"Are you nervous?"
Ji-eun asked. Her voice was soft.
"No."
Junho lied. He was nervous. The same lie repeated for ten years.
---
When the waiting room door opened, the director and casting director entered. The director was in his early fifties, with a tired face. His expression already told him that he had already decided on someone.
"Please tell us your name and experience."
The first rookie stood up. His name was Jun-young Kang. A graduate of Seoul Institute of the Arts. He said he'd recently done extras in a musical. His voice was clear, his gestures precise. He already had the expression of someone who knew he would be chosen.
"Thank you."
The second and third were similar. All seemed talented. All were prepared. All were better than Junho.
"Jun-ho Lee."
Junho stood up.
"Your experience?"
"Ten years."
The director's eyes changed. It was pity. An actor who'd been doing this for ten years and still only took minor roles. That kind of gaze.
"What have you done?"
"Drama supporting roles, film extras... mainly things like that."
"But why are you trying to do this role now?"
The question was unexpected. Junho looked at Ji-eun. She had her head down. She was no help.
"Because I think this role is important."
"You think it's important?"
The director asked again. His question carried doubt. What could this nameless actor with ten years of experience possibly do? That doubt.
"Yes."
Junho said only that.
---
The set was a small one-room studio. A bed, a desk, a window. The female actor was already prepared. She wasn't a famous actress, but her face was bright. She smiled when she saw Junho. That smile said 'I've already done this scene many times.'
The director checked the camera.
"Alright, let's try it. Actor Jun-ho Lee first."
Junho sat on the bed. According to the script, he was a man who had just been about to take sleeping pills. He should have had a pill bottle in his hand. Someone handed him a prop bottle. Junho took it. It was light. A plastic pill bottle.
"Action."
The director's voice.
Junho held the pill bottle. His hand should have trembled. But it didn't. There was just an arm, a hand, and a pill bottle. That was all.
The female actor came in.
"Oppa, what are you doing?"
Junho lifted his head according to the script. His eyes should have been empty. Eyes toward death. But his eyes were just eyes.
"Nothing."
His voice was flat. There was no emotion. It was the best Junho could do.
The female actor approached. Her voice trembled. Her eyes were full of tears. She was doing this scene properly.
"Put the bottle down. Please."
Junho put the bottle down. Without emotion.
"Cut."
The director raised his hand. His face was full of boredom.
---
The second rookie, Jun-young Kang, did the same scene. His hands trembled. His eyes were full of despair before death. His voice rang like a broken guitar string. He seemed to actually feel that emotion.
The director nodded.
"Good. Next."
The third rookie was similar. His tears were fake, but the emotion seemed real.
Junho sat in one corner. His hands were heavy, his chest empty. Even after ten years, he still lost to the rookies. They were still better.
Ji-eun sat next to him.
"Do you... really want to do something different?"
That question pierced Junho's chest. Ji-eun knew too. That Junho didn't want to do this work, but simply didn't want to give up.
"I don't know."
Junho answered. It was the truth.
"Then why do you keep doing it?"
"I can't stop."
Ji-eun didn't ask anymore.
---
When all the rookies' filming was done, the director whispered with the casting director next to him. Junho couldn't read their lips. But he knew his choice had already been decided.
"Thank you, actors."
The director stood up.
"I'll announce the final winner at 10 a.m. tomorrow."
Junho left the studio. On the subway, when he came up to the surface, the sky was still spring. But that too felt unchanged.
Ji-eun walked beside him.
"It's tomorrow."
She said.
"You have to hold on for three more months."
Junho didn't answer. There was nothing to answer. He just walked. Following the command not to stop, he continued forward.
But his steps were heavy. He couldn't tell if ten years was this heavy, or if the future was this heavy.